Now

Recently, as I continue to push myself to participate in many social events, I’ve been meeting so many people and finding myself in so many situations where everything feels aligned. It’s weird to think about the many coincidences I’ve noticed so far during my short time adjusting to Fukuoka and studying Japanese at my language school.

To name a few things:

• I met someone my age and in my class who will struggle alongside me in learning Japanese.
• I met someone who worked at my old employer and also made the decision to move to Japan.
• I met someone who is learning English and has experience in the tech industry around Fukuoka.
• I met someone who gave me a tour of Hakata/Tenjin while also giving me tips.
• I met someone who is really into a lesser-known anime I’ve been using to learn Japanese and improve my writing.
• I met someone who has very similar interests to mine and really surprised me with how well our vibes matched.
• I took the train to get to school despite not knowing the line had been closed before I showed up.
• I went to a party by happenstance that led to meeting so many possible social connections.

I guess these are some of the things I’ve noticed, but who knows just how many things are slowly being shaped into my world. I’d probably say it’s simply all random at the end of the day, but the choices we make shift our world toward what we want. Perhaps it’s a mindset, and I’m choosing to see the good in things while ignoring all the bad. I’d like to think I’m realistic but choose to be optimistic no matter what.

And that’s the thing. Even though everything seems to be panning out in my favor, and it definitely has so far, I see it as my intentions and constant attempts toward becoming the person I want to be coming to fruition. Except, it feels like the feedback is immediate, and I truly wonder if I’m only getting the good side of life for now. I went to solo karaoke and now really want to try getting good at it properly. I went to a café alone and now have a Japanese bartender I can talk to. I initiated conversations when opportunities arose, and now they’ve led to so many other possibilities.

Whatever it is, I must simply savor the moment and try my best. Halloween night, as I write this, was a hectic but genuinely fun experience among the many connections I’ve been making. I felt something similar to what I experienced during Otakon a few years ago: a genuine feeling of initiating a vague intention, then letting go of what the outcome should be. Letting the chaos or random occurrences happen and playing along with the experience before me.

It’s likely a sign that I genuinely needed to give myself a push and simply be who I am. Give myself permission to try and to continue trying. I may not be able to rely on these coincidences to occur often, but I can give myself the opportunity to allow them to happen and perhaps lead to further opportunities in the future. It really does start with what I want to do now and what I hope to accomplish in the near future, but also throughout my whole life.

I’ve realized that while I have an idea of the direction I want to go, I need to truly define and hone in on what I want for my life. So perhaps this is one thing I want to retain and cherish: this sense of random opportunity, or the feeling that my actions and decisions can lead to outcomes I can’t even imagine.

It’s important to note that not every decision I’ve made so far has panned out this well. I’ve attended some events where I didn’t really belong or where there was very little opportunity to interact with others. What was important was the fact that I chose to make these committed efforts and see them through without expecting these coincidences to happen. It’s more the effort and openness behind making these decisions that I want to preserve.

Obviously, life isn’t always so great. Hell, I still need to get started on developing a cooking habit (I have the ingredients sitting in my fridge as I write), properly cleaning up my entire room, and committing to a morning block routine. Either way, I want to live and be my best self. Coincidences or not, I still have agency in my own little way to make the life I want to truly enjoy.