Now

So I still haven’t fixed my sleeping schedule, or any issue I got in my life right now. But I am making good progress on the stuff I already started! It seems I am still attached to this website and my L-file website enough to spend majority of my time on those two things. Could be a bit of a perfectionistic stint going on right now trying to get L-file ready for the public, but I do feel I want it to be as stable as I can get it while ensuring it aligns with the goal of making a defininitive Usogui database site (granted I spent like a whole week moving from Flyio/Vercel to self-hosting through Hetzner/Dokploy).

I’ve moved from playing too much Marvel Rivals to playing too much Deadlock… perhaps I must change something up on that front. I realized in my note on addiction my yearning for something more. My current state feels like Deadlock is super fun to play and I should spend more time learning to get better at it to improve my mental capacity. However, I haven’t proved to myself that I could have the same amount of fun in Deadlock but in the real world or at least in a more applicable part of my life. It could be that there isn’t a direct equivalent, but I am willing to bet that there’s something I could do that would be exponentially or at least a bit better than my enjoyment in playing Deadlock (or any game for that matter).

Perhaps what I need is direct interaction. Like if I want to further improve my Japanese, it will likely be more fun to apply or acquire knowledge through something like VRChat. I am planning to do livestreams on this so I can force myself to be uncomfortable. For coding, I think a potential improvement would be to work on a true open source project or something collaborative. Could just be I need a social element, but deeper than that, I likely just need stuff that aligns with myself. So far, the “passion” I have for making this niche stuff for what is essentially myself is what’s fueling me so far. I have this sort of hidden fire for stuff that seems not too applicable for any large audience.

Now that I think about it, this is a big trend in the projects thoughout my life. Fuma-shi, weebcloset, Marie video essay, L-file, etc. all of these were essentially small scale niche projects that really peaked my interest. Maybe I should lean into this more if I want to further take advantage of this drive…

What now? Well I am thinking that I need to tie up some loose ends during this month. The Parts 2 and 3 of the Tokyo Vlog 2025 still are on my SSD waiting to be edited. At this rate, it will have a 1 year anniversary before I release the damned video.

This month will surely be the time for me to start inviting people to contribute to L-file.

I also need to sell my lovely 2013 Honda PCX 150 as I don’t ride it as much as I hoped and will need to get rid of anything I can’t bring to Japan. I think I stopped riding it in order to avoid having any potential accidents happening to me before I move. It’s really funny as I understood the risks of riding a motorcycle in California, but my mind keeps backtracking with all sorts of excuses to not use it like “it’s too cold”, “I don’t know a safe parking spot at work”, “you should keep it untouched so you can sell it without additional hassle”. This will not be the end of my journey to hit a true accel synchro moment, but will certainly be a bump in the road for my riding endeavors for the immediate future.

Once I tie up some of those loose ends, I am very tempted to try a bunch of things that admittedly aren’t super related to my major goals. I have an urge to try modding Marie into Deadlock cause I want to see if I can handle the complicated process of modding and 3d modeling. Who knows, maybe weeb passion is a force to be reckoned with. A more promising thing would be to start making more Shut Up and Yaps again. I’m toying around with the idea of straight up making it an official podcast as I am less afraid it will be a generic podcast nowadays. I’m realizing that as long as I do it for me and focus on trying to make it fun, then it doesn’t matter how it ends up.