Killing Potential to Become a Self
You keep circling one conviction: that a self is built through irreversible commitment, and that living in the comfortable haze of infinite potential is a slow self-erasure. It started as scattered self-talk about "making any choice and sticking through it," hardened into the July vow to literally "kill your potential" and commit to the novel and the move to Japan, and became the literal engine of Remember Rain — where the Flare only clings to those who cross a point of no return. What began as motivation has become a metaphysics: you now frame living itself as the single act of choosing, in the here and now, to become something rather than staying possible.
sources
- note Jul 14, 2026I am Ninjaruss
In spite of it all, I am Ninjaruss. I've figured it's a good a time as any to make a defined declaration for myself. This idea is taken from
- now Jul 7, 2026Potential man must die.
My life is circling back towards self doubt and fear. It seems the most difficult thing for me is to calm myself down and to simply proceed
- now Jun 2, 2026I will become the aura monster.
I've begun to truly hone my resolve towards what I want to do with my life. It's funny that I can only see the subtle progress I've made ove
- showcase Apr 25, 2026KAIMA - JP Learning Live Stream
Do the impossible, see the invisible... So I originally intended to make a experimental channel that combines my love for the idea of ninjas
- note Apr 11, 2026Live Without Regret
What does it mean to live without regret? I've now clung onto this as my own mantra for living at the moment. Before, I did not really have
- now Apr 6, 2026Dreams Versus Safety
As an update from the last Now note, I've tied up a couple loose ends, but not completely. The L-file is in a more acceptable state for me a
- note Mar 14, 2026Infinity
Limiting your mind to what you can think of rather than what is actually possible is a great tragedy. Finite beings are limited to the optio
- note Feb 13, 2026Current Objectives
My continuous list of objectives. MAIN - Build and focus on a single online business (podcast? community hub?) - Make a structured outline f
- note Jan 31, 2026Subtle Progress
I am changing constantly, but to everyone else and even myself, I haven't changed much at all. This is a problem I have been struggling with
- novelHistory
Timeline / History Added 2026-08-19. Years are relative to the Flare (Flare = Year 0), not calendar dates — consistent with how the rest of
- novelLocations
Locations The City Decided 2026-08-19 — the culture is a blend, not a place. Not Japan-coded, not any single real culture legible under it —
- novelMagic System
Magic System Provenance: rebuilt 2026-08-10 during the planning pass. The mechanics are the author's original system; the laws and terminolo
- novelChoice Points
Choice Points Replaced 2026-08-08 by ticket 16. The old Q&A doc (inciting-incident specifics, memory-manipulation mechanics, character funct
- novelThemes and Motifs
Theme & Motifs Provenance: the original notes below are the author's. Sections marked as decisions were settled during the 2026-08 planning
