Retreat, Numbness, and the Coward Reflex
You've mapped your own coping loop with unusual honesty: an addictive personality that locks in on a single thing until 3 AM, a habit of retreating into yourself and letting texts go unanswered, and a craving to feel numb through Deadlock, doomscrolling, or 'informational content' that pretends to be growth. You name the paradox precisely — you can summon courage for the big, dramatic acts, but freeze on the mundane small details, deferring problems 'to the point of ruin.' The fix you keep reaching for is to make avoidance harder by force (Unhook, ReVanced, spending money to weight your decisions) because you know feelings override your stated intentions. You even want to become addicted to the one thing worth it — trying, and likely failing, over and over.
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- now Jul 7, 2026Potential man must die.
My life is circling back towards self doubt and fear. It seems the most difficult thing for me is to calm myself down and to simply proceed
- note Jun 25, 2026Avoidance
Can't run away from your problems, yet it's easy to defer them to the point of ruin... Anyone who has interacted with me for an extended per
- now May 7, 2026LOCK IN LOCK IN LOCK IN
Well, well, well, things are starting to ramp up. And by that I mean not really except the date is fast approaching for my eventual move to
- note Apr 7, 2026Loser Behavior
One of the most tragic realizations I find is that most people are stuck and don't ever realize they themselves are the reason for their sta
- now Mar 3, 2026Niched Down
So I still haven't fixed my sleeping schedule, or any issue I got in my life right now. But I am making good progress on the stuff I already
- note Feb 20, 2026Addiction
I seem to have a very addictive personality. Lately, I've been having trouble getting off doomscrolling on YouTube shorts and spending a lit
- now Feb 3, 2026L-file - Usogui database launch!
The Usogui fansite is up right now! L-file website Although it took a bit of troubleshooting to get the DNS and deployments working, it is f
- shelfDark Souls 3
