POV: You’re trying to figure out what the hell you are doing in life…
Yo, I have a bit of trouble trying to describe who I really am. On one hand, I could describe myself relating to a lot of concepts that metaphorically fit my identity, but on the other hand, I often act contradictory to who I want to be.
As an online presence, I like to push myself as a scuffed ninja. Ninjaruss was my username since back when I first discovered Realm of the Mad God during middle school. Now that I think about it, my simple naming convention kind of displays my root desire. I am probably yapping and overthinking this, but my guess of why I used this as my username is a combination of Japanese media influence (i.e. Ninja Gaiden) and likely my tendency to attempt to stand out. I’ve held onto this identity for myself during my entire online presence, so I’d say it is sort of a metaphor for a pillar of my core being: a somewhat childish weeb that wants to be “lowkey” unique.
Almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I since dove into the realm of Japanese culture. It could be brainwashing due to how fun Game Boy Advance games were back then (originating back to Pokemon Silver on the original Game Boy; however, I truly do love a lot of elements that Japanese video games and anime tend to have (defeating gods and over-the-top story). My current guess is it is some sort of fixation on visual metaphors about human life. Funnily enough, I was also really into Greek mythology, which I would argue is a treasure trove of really cool and imaginative metaphors for concepts in life
Of recent years outside of university, I’m currently a washed up Computer Science graduate working a typical office job (not related to CS…) and living as your friendly distant shut-in. I’m taking steps to get over my hermit mentality by going to more outside events like Fanime. Though, it is really difficult to change my built up nature. As a kid, I would very rarely ever participate in extracurricular activities and would prefer to head straight home after school ended.
Writing this, I realize how less structured I am writing this About page right now. I would typically outline and pre-plan writing something like this in the past, but now I am literally doing this to *actually* write and do the things I say I am going to do. In fact, I am (productively) procrastinating on writing my first novel.
I guess what I am trying to say is that there’s just too much to unpack and trying to include all the lore bits about my life feels impossible. I will at least use this website as a means to explore some of the many experiences I’ve gone through in life as well as the fun stuff I’ve been enjoying.
I hope to convey at least my core thoughts through writing my own story, but we shall see if I can back up my words with action. To sum up myself in a more simplified manner, I’m a weeb gamer trying to be cool in my own way. I want to make something just as cool as the stories I’ve enjoyed throughout my life.